Have you ever met someone and felt an instant sense of connection? For kids, that seems to happen frequently, at the playground, on the soccer team, or away at camp. It’s a combination of being open to new friendships and, as Psychology Today noted in an article last spring, “There seemed to be an endless supply of new kids to talk to and become friends with… convenient ways to socialize and make friends abounded when we were younger.”
Finding those instant connections feels harder in adulthood. We are not typically around the consistent flow of new faces, and we are also a bit more set in our ways. All that means is that we might have to try a little harder!
Washington Post columnist Maggie Penman wrote last year about her experience making friends as an adult, sharing intentional ways to create new friendships. Her article talks about the importance of putting yourself in new situations while doing something you enjoy. Or even something new that you might enjoy, like my adentures in stand up comedy and storytelling classes. Being vulnerable when meeting others can lead to unexpected and deep connections. Building new friendships is a worthwhile endeavor at any stage of life.
Similarly, if you find yourself thinking about a close friend you haven’t connected with in years, reach out. You never know when an old friend might return to your orbit. I was lucky enough to reconnect recently with my friend Susan, who I had lost touch with when I moved out to the suburbs. Susan still lives in my old neighborhood and contacted me out of the blue recently. Our text chain led to a fun brunch meeting, and we were able to catch up on each others lives like no time at all had passed.
There was no awkwardness, and no need to explain the gap. We have both had busy careers and family obligations. We simply picked up where we left off, as if the conversation had paused rather than ended.
Spending time with Susan was a good reminder of how strong connections can form throughout life, we just have to be open to it.
Some souls just understand each other upon meeting.
N.R. Hart
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