Tea for 80

My mom turned 80 this past week, and she knew exactly how she wanted to celebrate. She organized a luncheon with a few of her local friends at an adorable tea house not far from where she now lives with my dad on beautiful Cape Cod.

Although she has not lived on the Cape for long, my mom has become very involved in her community through her volunteer work and through the Parkinson’s community. She’s the primary caregiver for my dad, who has been living with Parkinson’s for nearly a decade. Helping my dad navigate life with Parkinson’s is not easy on either of them, but friends in the local community have been a saving grace.

Over the 56 years they have been married, my parents have lived in several disparate locations. At this stage of life, many of their lifelong friends are far away and travel is difficult. These distant friendships are maintained through frequent phone calls and emails. But when they moved to the Cape, my parents quickly integrated themselves into the community and found people they’ve truly enjoyed. My mom is a Mah Jongg maven and has taught the game at her local library, synagogue and other locations around town–even keeping her games going during the Covid-19 pandemic with online sessions. My dad is devoted to his Parkinson’s boxing and biking classes. His exercise buddies and their families have also become dear friends to my parents these past few years.

My sister and I have tried without success to get our parents to move closer to where we live so that we can see them more and be more helpful to them. But, in addition to their lovely location on picturesque Cape Cod, the primary reason they have wanted to stay where they are is the network of friends they’ve made. Which brings me back to the birthday tea party.

Seeing my mom celebrating her 80th in the center of her group of vibrant women gave me a feeling of joy and inspiration. I know it was not easy moving as many times as she did over her life and having to find new friends in each new place. I also know it’s not easy to handle Parkinson’s with my dad, but she does it all without missing a beat. She also squeezes as much pleasure out of each day as she possibly can. She has always shown me and my sister how to face things that are difficult and how to proactively make life enjoyable for yourself wherever you are, now modeling this for her grandchildren as well.

April is Parkinson’s Awareness Month, which aims to shed light on the community of more than one million people living with Parkinson’s in the United States. I can’t think of a better time to be writing about my parents. My dad’s valiant journey with Parkinson’s is ongoing, and he is doing well thanks to his strong spirit and my mom’s unwavering support.

Happy 80th, Mom!

My mom celebrating with her friends at the tea house.