Senior year of high school is an important threshold, one foot still in childhood, the other preparing for college or whatever may come next. For my son Will, his senior year started off busier than ever with his short, but intense golf season, college essay prep, and a full courseload.
And then, a month into the new school year, we had the best kind of disruption when we welcomed Xavi, a German exchange student, into our home for his two weeks stay in Glenview. In the days leading up to his arrival, I felt far more anxious than excited. September is my busiest month at work, and I was concerned that Will would not be able to spend meaningful time with Xavi in the middle of his varsity golf season.
Once Xavi arrived, however, I quickly saw the benefits of adding a new person to the rhythm of family life. We lingered over family dinner that first evening, learning more about Xavi and talking about plans for the weekend ahead. Will, Xavi, and a couple of other exchange pairs spent Saturday playing basketball, minigolf, and video games. Sunday was a Cubs game, and then a BBQ at our home for 6 teens and 4 parents.
Xavi’s visit brought back memories of my older son John’s German exchange in the summer of 2024. I wrote about how proud I was watching John step into a new culture, and how hosting Simon beforehand helped build a bridge between our families. What struck me then, and again now with Xavi, is how these exchanges create friendships that remind us that the world is both bigger and smaller than we think.
The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.
Saint Augustine
Research backs this up. Cross‑cultural friendships have been shown to increase empathy, reduce bias, and strengthen communication skills. Even short-term intercultural experiences can boost adaptability and emotional intelligence, important tools that help teens thrive in college and beyond. International exchange research finds that students return home with greater confidence, broader perspectives, and a deeper appreciation for both their own culture and someone else’s.
The lived experience is harder to quantify, but it creates lasting memories. For us with Xavi, we’ll remember Introducing him to his new favorite meal (the steak enchiladas verde recipe that is a special treat for my boys as well), delaying the start of a meal while Frankie napped on Xavi’s lap, and the shared couch time the four of us spent watching the start of the NFL season.
Both Sara and I have fond memories of the years we studied and lived abroad through international exchange programs. I have hosted students and Au Pairs, and Sara hosted a Swedish exchange student last year. This weekend, Sara’s older son Zeke left for France to participate in a teaching assistant program there for the next eight months. Our families continue to seek out these opportunities for international exchange because they add so much to our lives, beyond what can be learned from reading about it or even a quick vacation in a new place.
As Will moves through his senior year, I’m grateful he started out with this enriching experience, an infusion of friendship that I hope he’ll carry with him long after high school. For anyone looking for ways to participate in international exchange, high school and college counselors have many resources to share, or check out the Youth for Understanding website or the AFS website if you’re interested in hosting.
Language of Friendship 
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