Making Friends After a Move

Even when you’re relocating for the best of reasons—such as accepting a new job or moving into a dream house—it can feel extremely isolating. Leaving established friends and neighbors behind and building new routines in an unfamiliar place can feel insurmountable in the beginning. But, with a little patience, persistence and strategic planning, you are very likely to eventually build a solid network of friends and acquaintances in your new home.

If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.

— Paulo Coehlo

Julia wrote a few months ago about our friend Jen, who has moved multiple times across the country. Her most recent move brought her to New Orleans, where she has forged lasting friendships over a Mardi Gras tradition. If you’re planning a move, or if you have friends who are moving, here are a few suggestions for creating new connections:

Find a club/activity: Pick a hobby and find a local outlet that will allow you to do what you enjoy along with others in the area. If you like running, for example, engage with a running club in your area. Road Runners Club of America’s website features a club-finding tool. Participating in an activity that you enjoy, or finding a new one like Jen did in New Orleans, helps you find common ground with the people you will meet there and can provide a starting point for new friendships.

Volunteer for a cause: I’ve written before about how my mom found friends after a cross-country move through her volunteer work with Hadassah. Seeking out a cause that means something to you will put you in contact with others who share your conviction, which can help establish connection.

Explore a religious community: You don’t have to be devout to find comfort in the fellowship that you might find at your local church, synagogue or mosque. These institutions often provide outreach and services to newcomers that can be a great starting point for learning about your new locale, as well as finding human beings you can relate to.

Try going phone-free: Being present and making eye contact with the people around you can go a long way toward creating connection. Especially when you’re in a new environment surrounded by unfamiliar people, paying attention to your surroundings can pay social dividends. Some restaurants and cafes even prohibit phone usage so that customers can focus on their meal and their companions. Tech Wellness provides a list of its top places to enjoy phone-free dining, but you always have the power to opt out of phone usage anytime and anywhere to help you stay in the moment.