Finding New Friends

Moving to a new city is never easy, especially when it involves long distance. Leaving behind friends and familiar surroundings can trigger heavy feelings of loss, and navigating the magnitude of change involved with a relocation can be difficult for anyone. Yet, I have watched one of my longtime friends gracefully manage big moves multiple times, with her spouse and triplets in tow, and her story offers insight on how to find community in a new location.

Over the past two decades, my friend Jen has moved her family from her home state of Kentucky to Arizona, then to Wisconsin, and most recently to Louisiana. These are all very different parts of the country, and Jen will be the first to admit that these moves were not easy. She has had to find ways to connect with people in each new place, often through her work in the schools, or through her children. And although Jen had already successfully moved several times before her move to the New Orleans area, this latest relocation had her worried. She’d been very happy in Wisconsin, and her kids were older, so she had to manage their teen fears as well as her own concerns.

As her family was settling into their new lives in suburban New Orleans, Jen realized that the public school wasn’t the right fit for one of her sons, a high-functioning child on the autism spectrum. Frustrated, she found herself venting at the local hair salon about a lack of suitable options for kids like her son. Little did Jen know as she poured out her concerns to her stylist, that a woman named Shanee was sitting nearby and overheard her. Then Shanee offered a glimmer of hope. As a mother of two younger children also on the spectrum, Shanee understood Jen’s challenges firsthand. “We instantly connected and became fast friends, united by our shared experiences and determination to support our children,” Jen recalls.

Through Shanee, Jen met another friend Emily, who she says is considered “Mardi Gras royalty.” A longtime New Orleans resident, Emily grew up immersed in Mardi Gras culture, with a dad who is an official in one of the best-known parades in the city. After years of watching a group of guys riding in motorized Lazy-Boy recliners through the streets of New Orleans, Emily was inspired to create a female version of a group like this, and the “Chairy Chicks” was born. Emily’s husband, an engineer, helped construct the chairs, making Emily’s dream a reality.

Laissez les bons temps rouler  

“We basically all ride on themed Lazy-Boy recliners attached to electric scooter bases,” Jen says. Each woman in the group created a theme for their chair and costumes, and Jen had no trouble coming up with hers: “My whole chair is decorated like Dolly Parton, the hair, the boobs, even the lasso from the movie 9-5!” Emily, who Jen describes as “our Queen bee,” embraced the nickname for her own chair, donning a beehive wig every year for parade season. In the five-plus years since the Chairy Chicks started rolling through the streets of New Orleans, they’ve become known for their theme-inspired giveaways in the multiple parades they participate in each year.

Jen says the move to Louisiana was initially difficult, but she embraced it with an energy and grace that is inspiring, and pure Jen: “I have had to put on my big girl face and find the good in every place.” She fondly recalls observing nature out the back window of their home on a river in Wisconsin with her kids. Although she loved the feel of life in the Midwest and the great friends they had there, Jen knew she had to focus on moving forward when her family relocated to Louisiana. She recalled thinking, “This is our life now, and I need to show the kids there are great things to do in this new place.”  

Bloom where you are planted.

Mary Engelbreit

In Shanee, Jen not only found a confidante, but also a gateway to an amazing community where she belonged. Shanee, Emily and others were so welcoming, with them, Jen says, “I always felt like I was at home.” Jen modeled making new friendships to her three children: “Now that they’re in college, it’s been a smooth transition. They’ve had to be the new kids so many times, they’ve learned to put themselves out there.”

Jen shows us all that staying open to the sparks of connection that come with a new place can be the key to finding a home. Moving to a new place may come with plenty of unexpected twists, but is also marked by lasting friendships, and the joy of embracing new opportunities.