Low-Key Plans

Every so often I get together with a group of 10 or so local friends for a night out. By the time we pick a date and a restaurant that everyone can agree on, numerous texts have flown back and forth. With the many logistics to sort through, we sometimes feel more annoyed than excited about the upcoming gathering. So, when a woman in our group suggested a potluck evening on her deck as an alternative, we were thrilled.

As much as we love going to restaurants, dining out with a big group can cause friction about location, timing of reservations, and dividing the bill. The alternative of meeting at a friend’s house meant we could take advantage of the beautiful September weather while enjoying each other’s company in a low-key way.

Gathering at someone’s home has other advantages as well. Those who are not hungry won’t be on the hook paying for more food than they need, and with so many dietary preferences, we can each bring our preferred food item that we would like to share with the group. We can also relax in the comfort and privacy of our own space, rather than being surrounded by other noisy diners, not to mention waiting in bathroom lines.

Making this shift to a lower-key evening reminded me of the value in spending time with friends without the structure that comes with dinner reservations. The focus becomes our time together, whether that means running out to get a pedicure together or even accompanying each other on errands. As Julia wrote in an earlier post, walking with friends can be a great way to catch up while getting some exercise, something that her friend Dean does any time of year.

In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips.

—Salman Rushdie

It’s important to remember that get-togethers with friends don’t have to require intricate planning. They just have to happen often enough to keep your life filled with joyful companionship.