Overseas Friends

Watching my 17-year-old son John prepare for his upcoming trip to live with a host family in Germany this summer fills me with complex emotions. I am incredibly proud of him, seeing him embrace this new adventure. But I am also a bit anxious, a natural concern for his well-being so far from home.

With his departure nearing, I’ve worked to balance any concerns with enthusiasm for this incredible experience.  It’s been more than three years since John started this journey with his acceptance into the Glenbrook Academy of International Studies, a four-year immersive German language and cultural curriculum at his high school. While the program seemed a good fit based on John’s love of European history and our connections to Germany, his willingness to step out of his comfort zone and embrace new experiences has amazed us all.

The Academy has provided him many new friends, and the confidence to spend two weeks last summer in Boston for an academic program where he connected with teens from New York to Vietnam.  My own enthusiasm for the Academy trip is reinforced by the assurance that living with a host family will provide a warm environment for John, helping him navigate being so far from home. This immersive experience offers more than just a place to stay; living with a host family means you’re not just a tourist, but a part of a community. This past fall we hosted Simon, a German teen whose family is preparing to host John in a few weeks.

The more I traveled the more I realized that fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.

Shirley MacLaine

And I’ve seen host families become lifelong friends. We hosted au pairs from Germany, Brazil and Thailand when the boys were young. Our German au pair Anja travelled back to Chicago for my recent wedding. Decades ago, Sara made her own trip to Germany to live with a host family in the northern city of Bremen. More than 30 years later, Sara’s close friendship with her former host parents continues, reinforced by occasional visits.

Stepping outside one’s comfort zone or making the effort to travel to connect with old friends, can be rewarding beyond measure. Sara wrote about the value of reuniting in person with far-flung BFFs, and in January, John and I flew across the country so he could visit with Simon during his mom’s stint as a visiting professor to Berkeley. While John and Simon enjoyed their reunion, I loved getting to know his mom, Yvonne (photo above). She is kind, curious and exudes the warmth I know will help John during his upcoming stay in Germany.

Host families can be a support system, helping one navigate challenges and celebrate successes. But more than anything, they open us to new bonds that span continents and last a lifetime.