Celebrating Gratitude

The mood of the world feels heavy this year as Thanksgiving approaches, with wars raging abroad and divisive protests happening at home. The holiday itself may even feel controversial these days, as we consider more deeply the plight of Native Americans who populated U.S. lands before we were born.

With these thoughts swirling through my head, I am reminded that Thanksgiving provides us an opportunity to focus on gratitude. A growing body of research shows that gratitude is more than just “saying thank you,” although that’s important too. Gratitude gives us a way to acknowledge and appreciate what is going right with our lives, rather than focusing on what’s wrong. The ability to shift our focus toward gratitude won’t solve our every problem, but it does turn out to be instrumental in building and nurturing the important relationships in our lives. It also has been shown to have benefits for our physical health, including potentially lowering blood pressure and reducing inflammation.

For me, every hour is grace. And I feel gratitude in my heart each time I can meet someone and look at his or her smile.

Elie Weisel

Sometimes it’s easy to find things we’re grateful for: a challenging sports event from which our team emerged victorious or a promotion at work. Oftentimes, though, we forget to appreciate the little things that can make all the difference. Practicing gratitude helps us see and appreciate those smaller things, and in turn, helps us reap the benefits of a healthier outlook.

Robert Emmons is a psychology professor and gratitude researcher at the University of California who is considered an expert on gratitude research. He views gratitude as “relationship-strengthening” because it helps us see and feel how others support us. He notes two primary components of practicing gratitude: 1. to affirm the good things we’ve received; and 2. to acknowledge the role of others in giving our lives goodness.

Research on gratitude shows that it’s possible to build our capacity for it by practicing. One way to practice is by keeping tabs on things you’re grateful for in a gratitude journal. Another is to share your gratitude with others, simply by thanking them or telling them you appreciate them. For further ideas about how to practice gratitude, check out this article from mindful.org.

As for me, I am immensely grateful for the relationships in my life. As Julia wrote last week, my birthday provided a recent opportunity for me to hear from my family and the many friends near and far who make me feel loved and appreciated. And, although the days are growing colder and darker here in New England, we’ve had some beautiful moments and I am trying to remember to appreciate those moments when I see the light breaking through the clouds.

From our team at the Language of Friendship, we wish you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving holiday full of gratitude, not only for the big things, but also for the small things in life.

We should just be thankful for being together. I think that’s what they mean by Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown.

Marcie, in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving